Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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