Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
