Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
