he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
