first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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