im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
