ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
