oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
he thought i was a dude.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
