you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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