The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
