The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize