No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
MIDGETS
????
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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