What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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