do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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