im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
