That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
