my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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