In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
