Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
