Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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