time to smoke my breakfast
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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