Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
