She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
