do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
