Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
