So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
