Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
