It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
