Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
