at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
