Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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