i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize