Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
