I cockslap morals
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
