In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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