Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I didn't notice because vodka
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
