marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Non-Jews are for practice
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
