He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
