is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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