his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
