I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
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