I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize