My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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