how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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