so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Alive.
So much puke
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize
