I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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