So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I want a musical about memes.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
