so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
