You're completely useless in the revolution.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
No I am not eating basil off your cock
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
