what day is it and did you see me today?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
