please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
