I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
