Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Couch. On fire.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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