No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize