dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
