in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
