my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
